Buckle up: you're about to have a lot of fun at your friends' expense - and perhaps get a startling reality check.
Microsoft has developed a facial recognition program that does what no polite human would ever do - tell you exactly how old you really look. You simply upload a photograph of yourself or others and await the computer's cold, hard, dispassionate judgment.
According to Microsoft, the How-Old program uses "state-of-the-art cloud-based face algorithms" to estimate gender and age.
But, being a demo service and also an inexact science, the program has delivered some wildly inaccurate results, sometimes struggling to even correctly guess people's genders.
The site's real beauty lies in your ability to upload photographs of anyone - family, co-workers, celebrities, politicians, friends and enemies.
Ageing-averse superstar Madonna would be pleased with this outcome, which put her a full 25 years younger than her 56 years when photographed in March.
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is sort of timeless and could probably outlive a nuclear holocaust, but he could not be accused of ageing well. He was 68 in this Instagram photo from the London Film Festival in 2012, but Microsoft's software generously put him at a sprightly 65.
Some notoriously age-shy celebs have been known to lie about the year they were born. Popstar Nicki Minaj claimed to be 26 on the release of her 2010 debt album Pink Friday - only to be caught out later and revealed to be 28. Pictured all dolled-up at this year's Grammys, the Anaconda singer is now 32, but the How-Old generator has her pinned at just 27 - a result she would welcome, no doubt.
And couples beware - the How Old generator can be a divisive beast. Australian model Lara Bingle was 27 when this photo was taken last year at Fashion Week in New York City - her other half Sam Worthington was 37. She wouldn't be too thrilled with this ruling, which reckons she looks eight years older while her beau gets a year's discount.
The technology is still being tested, and Microsoft says its engineers were "playing" with the program when it was inundated with more than 35,000 users within a few hours - 29,000 of them came from Turkey.
How-Old is part of a suite of facial, speech and image recognition services being developed by Microsoft as part of a project called Project Oxford.
Narcissists beware - it's dangerously addictive and not at all sensitive to your insecurities or vanity.
But being the hardy collection of troublemakers that it is, the internet quickly turned to exploiting the program in as many creative and hilarious ways as possible.
pic.twitter.com/RNEKlf1me7— Paris (@DavidParis)
May 1, 2015
pic.twitter.com/ioAviaL03v— George (@Gawge)
April 30, 2015
pic.twitter.com/v2Y6WuFuUF— adam brereton (@adambrereton)
May 1, 2015
