How you know you've failed the stress test

While you're off doing all-nighters, "handling" high stress levels, building coping mechanisms for overwhelm and generally trying to survive, your body is literally judging your decisions and keeping score of your sacrifices in the name of work deadlines, study obligations, family responsibilities and recreational rewards.

I never used to think that this was a thing. I was young once, too. Although that does seem like an awfully long time ago now.

As a woman juggling working full-time in her own business as the sole bread winner for her family, studying law part-time at university, volunteering on two working groups and with a third organisation in general, as well as being a wife and a mum, I'm literally exhausted before I wake up.

And my body is keeping score.

Every time I'm up until 2am trying to get an assignment done, or finish a job order, or make a halo for my nine year old's book week costume, my body is keeping score.

When it can't take it anymore, when the stress is too much, my body has a tendency to crash - usually in the form of flu of some sort - which forces me to stop what I'm doing and pay attention to it.

I'm sure it can't be healthy to push and push and push until my body is literally flipped the closed sign around on its door and just lies in bed, refusing to get up because it literally can't anymore.

I'm also equally sure that I'm not the only one that has a tendency to push too far until my body reaches this point and I am forced to listen to it crying out for help.

You know what I'm taking about, don't you? You're familiar with this, too?

I honestly have the best of intentions.

I don't deliberately push myself too far. Stress creep is absolutely a thing and I have a sneaking suspicion that it might be more widespread that first thought might have you believe.

Snowballing stress is something that's actually recognised in psychological circles.

The term explains how small actions or responsibilities can lead to increasingly bigger actions and responsibilities, ultimately resulting in a huge change, commitment or project that feels somewhat like it got out of hand when you weren't looking.

Before you know it, you're knee deep in stress hormone, gasping for air, desperately tired but unable to sleep, and maybe feeling just a little bit sick over it all.

Mental health often has physiological fallout and for me at least, it involves by body's engineering department yelling out over comms that "the shield is down! The shield is down!" and I often find myself getting sick.

This is perhaps a fitting if somewhat sneaky way for my body to force reset as I find myself curled up in bed feeling rather sorry for myself.

So what can we do to avoid getting this crisis point? How can we really manage our stress when it feels like it's in our job description?

The first thing on every doctor's stress management list is "exercise" and if you aren't a generally a physically active person, this can be an eyeroll moment.

But maybe if you find something physical that you enjoy doing, this can be a bit of fun.

Taking the kids to the park, playing sport with friends, going for a walk in a beautiful location, listening to an audio book while gardening, or dancing to your favourite song can be a great mood manager.

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However, realistically, the best way to manage your stress is to better organise and manage your workload.

Learn to say "no" to the things you just cannot fit into your schedule - I'm slowly getting better at this although it's still a work in progress.

Find a tool or an app or a workflow resource to help you juggle your responsibilities and keep your ducks in a row - knowing what's what is a fantastic way of feeling more in control of what's on your plate and this, in turn, helps you manage the associated stress.

Finally, remember to carve out a little "you" time each day. It might be an hour for your favourite show, for a hobby, for spending time with loved ones, or meditating solo. Just don't forget that you are vital to your work. So take care of yourself.